Sex and Gender – The Losing Battle

We misuse sex and gender so often. When you hear about gender, you always hear the same thing these days: 2 groups that cannot agree on what it means. One side says there are only 2 genders and that it means biological sex. The other side says there are an infinite number of genders which have nothing to do with sex and that genders can change. What’s up with this religious debate that has turned the world upside down? Let’s find out and see how the confusion between sex and gender is a losing battle.

The Backstory

Historically, sex has always referred to biological sex: male and female. Gender has been a construct of language giving objects maleness and femaleness ¹ (masculinity and femininity, respectively). This seems easy enough to understand. One thing has to do with living things: biology. The other has to do with language: words. So how did we get so stuck debating between apples and oranges?

The problem starts with the ambiguity of the English language. Sex in English is both an adjective (male, female) and a verb (the activity of being sexually intimate). Due to the erotic association of the word sex as far back as 1940’s and even more commonly in the 1960’s, political correctness pushed the word “gender” in place of the word “sex”. French scholars such as Foucault also greatly drove this usage in their writings . The feminist movement then began to use gender to refer to social characteristics of biological females instead of their actual sexual characteristics (e.g. biological sex)². In 1963, the Equal Pay Act clearly stated that there will be no discrimination on the basis of sex³. However, in the cultural landscape of today, this has been rewritten as “on the basis of gender.” (This verbiage does not exist in the actual law).⁴

Sex and Gender: The Analysis

Let’s review the history. Sex refers to biology. Gender refers to maleness and femaleness of words. People deem the word “sex” as too erotic. People start substituting gender for sex when referring to people. We can already see that this setup is a recipe for where we are today. If you take a word that describes the observable (expression of) maleness or femaleness of words, and apply it to people, the direct translation of “gender” to people cannot have the same meaning as “sex”. With the best of intentions, it started as a euphemism to avoid using an erotic term. However, the opportunity for confusion has always been present. “Gender” has always been able to describe all the different social characteristics of people. Unfortunately, we were always told for a long time and even came to believe that “gender” and “sex” were the same – until all of a sudden they weren’t.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, John Money⁵ did his experiment where he tried to prove that “gender” is a social construct. You can research John Money⁶⁷⁸ yourself and come to your own conclusions. At the same time, in 1968, Robert Stroller⁹ started deliberately using the word “sex” to talk about sexual characteristics (biological sex) in people. So we have one scientist using a loophole in the definition and word history of “gender” to reapply it as he saw it: to mean expression of observable sexual behaviors (which is closer to its original meaning). And you have another scientist trying to be more precise and using “sex” to talk about biology.

So What?

So if this level of clarity existed between the terms even in the 1960’s and 1970’s, why then are we struggling with it in the current culture? I believe it has to do with social inertia (just like a car rolling forward with no gas applied) – people don’t like to change. For too long, we have experienced the move to more and more politically correct words. And with it comes the cultural baggage and confusing definitions that hide the reality we experience. Sex and gender are in a never-ending war: a losing battle.

So, the original definition of the word gender was a euphemism for biological sex. But that has since evolved into its own meaning. The problem is that our common usage has not caught up. Nor do we use “sex” and “gender” to mean what we want to say. Instead we use words that really do not mean what we think: we just believe they do or that they should. We then try to push our belief on the people we speak to. This progression in the word gender has left both sides open to argument on many different things which have other important consequences than just language.

Sex and Gender: The Progression

First gender meant biological sex. Then it meant maleness and femaleness in social characteristics. Then it meant sexual behaviors of men and women. Now it means all the possible sexual behaviors of all people. It would seem that the genie is out of the bottle and gender cannot go back to being a euphemism for biological sex. And at the same time, this attempt to bring gender back into focus as biological sex has led to important consequences in the law which now includes gender. We have been repeatedly informed that gender is not a fixed expression but can change even moment to moment – serious repercussions come from this. But that’s a topic for another day.

Interestingly, it was John Money and Simone de Beauvoir¹⁰ who popularized “gender” in place of “sex” over the course of their lives. While the results of John Money’s¹¹ investigations and Simone de Beauvoir’s¹²¹³ opinions were called into question, many groups opposed this vocally, insisting “gender” means more than just “sex”, male or female. In spite of the controversy, people still try to use gender to mean biological sex. Why we should insist on using confusing words with all their polarizing history completely baffles me. To me, this does not seem like the hill we should choose to die on for any reason. This just seems like invisible social inertia which we should overcome: it is distracting us from the real issues. Sex and gender is truly a losing battle.

The Truth Will Set You Free

The truth is that gender was first used as a euphemism for sex. Then it became mainstream. Then it evolved into something that has no limits on its definition: it can truly mean anything. But this door was always open for the goal-posts to shift – for it to mean any expression of someone’s life and not their existence. And so it has come to pass. What was only a possibility, is now not just probable or possible, but is now reality in our shared cultural landscape.

We are past the point of no-return in trying to roll things back to the prior meaning of gender: 2 biological sexes. I think this continued push has not only failed, but is hiding the real issues. How much of our sexual behaviors and expressions should be public and how much should remain private and who can be exposed to these? Our sexual behaviors: how much is fixed, and how much is changeable and who should be allowed to make that choice? How much of our sexual behaviors should be made into law and how much should not? What word usage should we remove from the cultural landscape and what usage should we keep when referring to sex or sexual behaviors? I think, once we all speak the same language, we can better address these issues across the board without confusion.

Where Do We Go From Here, Encyclopedia Brown?

The two sides need to start communicating far more clearly and start saying what they mean. If you mean biological sex, you should only say sex: regardless of any erotic overtones it may have. Sex as a term referring to biological sex is less controversial or even erotic. We see worse on TV and in the movies and even out on the streets. If we mean the act of having sex, we should be tactful but state what we mean exactly and unashamedly. We should only use gender if we are meaning the observable sexual characteristics an individual wants to show. Once we start doing this, the divide disappears. We need to focus on more important things than winning a religious language war: like clarifying the laws of our country to fit what we mean and not what others might interpret (e.g. gender vs sex on a form).

My English teacher once said, “People do not have gender; they have sex. Anyone that claims otherwise is selling you something.” Maybe we should pay attention to what is for sale and decide whether we really want to buy it. If we are not buying the product, why should we buy into the sales pitch? Trying to hold onto the usage of a word that has escaped its limited meaning seems backwards and self-defeating. Gender as a word has truly reached escape-velocity. When we focus on choosing “gender” and “sex” deliberately, we may be able to tackle other cultural problems more readily. At the end of the day, this is our reality: sex and gender – the losing battle – still ongoing should end with a win for both sides.

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